Editorial: How generous are coaches?

We skirt this issue all the time in some of other questions such as:

• Why are different coaching schools often trashing one another (subtle as it may be)?
• Why does it seem that “successful” coaches are making their money "off the backs"” of newer coaches?
• Why do we tend to place status on what we "“label" ourselves? Executive Coach is better than Business Coach. Life Coach is better than Spiritual Coach.
• Why do we love to take pot shots at well known figures in the coaching community?

In 2000, I attended my first major coaching conference where I had the opportunity to talk with a reasonable well known coach, author and Teleclass leader. I remember mentioning that so far one of the things that I liked about the coaching community was how generous coaches were. While she seemed not to react, smiled and continued the conversation, I noticed in her body language a fleeting gesture that suggested she did not share this view. This woman is no longer is in the coaching profession. While I have not become as jaded, I have revised my view.

I have made some of the most amazing connections with other coaches and developed a wonderful community. I hope and strive to model sharing, but I am discerning. I have discovered that like other professions, there are charlatans and individuals who are not well suited to this business. The most generous I can be is that perhaps their intentions are good but they are too busy. Fortunately "“the takers"” are few and I can pretty much spot them right away. I am not surprised anymore when I feel that someone is taking advantage of me but I am still disappointed. There are also times when I have been overly cautious, only to discover that someone was very generous to me when I needed some assistance. This has renewed my desire to give people the benefit of the doubt more often.

While the "“pay it forward" concept seems a bit trite, I do believe that what you give out will come back fourfold and you never know where it will come from. I am far from the only person who ascribes to this philosophy but putting it into practice is another story. You would be quite surprised how many of my mentee coaches have told me that one of the things that they got the most out of coaching with me is a change in this limiting belief: The pie is only so big and what someone else's gets, you can'’t have. (My metaphor). I really and truly believe that the world really needs what good coaches have to offer and there is SO MUCH work out there. Finding it is harder but if we worked together more collectively, I think we would all be amazed at the results.

I have just returned from the European ICF Conference, where I saw both the "puffing up" approach as well as a genuine desire to share. Last night I attended our local Suisse Romande ICF Chapter where one of our members Laurence Treille did an abbreviated version of her presentation to the ICF Conference on "Teaming up with other coaches: The value of collaboration." The key seems to be whether we have a scarcity model operating or an abundance one.

Here is what I have decided. I choose to remain optomistic. Coaches are human and no better or worse or more evolved than the rest of the human race, –even if we like to believe we are.